I really did love you. I really did my best in everything. I really trying to be the best me for you. I really this whatever is necessary to make our relationship work. And now you are married to her. Some days I would wish I was her. Some days I would wish it was me who woke up to your face, body, warmth and smell. Somedays I would wish you always chose me first. Somedays I would wish, that you chose me and always chose me. Somedays I would think that maybe I should stop "it", because you asked me what you should do.. But I could not because I love you too much to make you stay with me - but I love you too much to not support your happiness. I would wish we never had those ups and downs, I would wish our problems were smaller. I would wish you did not hurt me as you did. I would wish that you did not betray me. I would wish that you had worked with yourself before meeting me. I would wish that everything turned different. I would someday wish that you bought me that ring that I dreamed of. I would wish it was me that got your last name. I would wish that you were my forever and ever. But now, I wish my feelings to go away. Did you know, I do not know how to live without you? I do not know? I am just breathing and trying to survive? Because my fucking other half is gone forever. And I do not know how to live .. oh god....... I was afraid of this day. I would wish to just quit on life sometimes. So there is no feelings.. no memories .. nothing.
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