You guys I do not how I feel right now ..
You know, I was not that sad over what happened - I justed wanted him to be honest with me.
I do not know why I need him to be that, even though I knew he still lied to me.
I knew, but you know what God - The secound I asked you to call my friend or go to him. I called him, because I did not want to kind of loose him. But not in my partner kind of way loose him, I was still thinking, that if me and him could make it happen. Because why not? I have went through many thing not together with him but alone on my own. And God please I swear to you, make him find another girl. I am just tried ...
My stomach always told me that, life has not have been to him - Let me be there and make him smile, let me be the one to change or to make him a better version of himself. Let me the freaking one that make him ready to meet his love of his life, even though it is not with me. Let me be there and make his scars heal faster than ever. Let me be there to make him like a safe home for him. Let me make him becoming a man he truely can be - Because I always believe in secound chances and I believe in hope. Hope and brighter days .. But know I see, me and him truely can not continue. I am just tired of being sad, heart broken, always going to broken promises, broken feeling, broken everything. I hate it God, I do not have time any more.
And God/Universe, please let him move on and come over whatever kind of a fiction fairy tale story he is thinking of.
God I am done fighting, or staying just to see him, wanting me the way I once wanted him. I do not want it. I hope that at the end of the day, he will find his love or smile in another place, and he literally moves on when it comes to me. God literally, I can not anymore. I have no patience, tolerance or anything left.
May God be with you Boy. You will be in my thoughts, even though I will try to erase and forget you every soon, InshaAllah.
#ByTakeCareOldLove #Fly
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