30-11-2019 23:56

So you guys a lot of things did happend.

1. I passed 1/4 exams -> now I am waiting for my 3 other exams.

The thing is .. Life is full of suprises, and you do not know really when or where things are going to happen. And do you know, when you can not describe feels, because something is just the way they are like -You can not escape your "faith" or your "destiney" you know.

And sometime because when you in so long got used to a situation, you kind of feel that its where you "home" or comefort zone is all about. But then suddenly, you realize, that you do not know why you settle for things that does not even were what you stand for, in the first place.

You know guys, I told you me and are not going to talk - but we did. And for him, I do not know, it was like his "last shout" - at my birthday, I ended everything, because I did not want him to be at my birthday - Birthdays is the only day you can be selfish, because its like your day .. you know!

And then I was like, at woke up at my birthday - and wrote him a long kind of short text - that it is what it is, I do not want it. I want to live free and just be me, and he always can come to me no matter what. And then he wrote me back, that was that time I FINALY, got my closure.. he wrote -thanks for learning and teaching me things -- and that I deserve the best of the best no matter what, and now it is time for him to find himself.
You guys, my reaction were that I cried .. because I felt like finally, my baby want to find himself all by himself, and he is finally ready to mature - it made me glad and happy, but somehow also sad.. because I was not the psyco one, and he finaly were honest. I was like so in my zone, and suprise by his text that I did not want to let him go, but I had to ...

A week later, I wanted to know badly how he were doing - I remove the heart on my insta, and then I woke up the next day and say a fallen rose - I was worried, so I called him. He was all okay, doing himself - still have back aches but he was living - everything were good.
The next day he text me good morning and good night, and I was like oh no - then I wrote him, that he has to drop everything, because I did not write to make him want me back.
He had a bad day, then he was like angry at the world, me, his mom, his friend .. I wanted to talk to him, about what is happening inside his mind - he rejected me.

I was like Oh no ... we are kind of back at it again, we are not even having a "thing" .....
I know he likes me, and I like him too ...

The last time we had contact, were the night them girls hold my surpise party for me .. I wanted to share my happiness with someone, and I called him. He was sweet and all, but he got cold at the end of the day - and its okay. I should have never called ... and I will never every contant him, at the end of this month and new year - I am thinking of a new begining, were this life and up coming year is going to be about me - and JUST me.

Dear readers and diaries ... I really think its going to be over soon.
I had never been so happy, and you know - thankful of life in .. a long time ...
But you know, I have a good gut feeling, about Good things about to happen - and I believe so.

At the end of the day, my prayers goes to everyone in this Globe.
My Family, Aunt, Him and to you Universe .. #WeAreHittinANewEra #LetsMakeHistory