søndag den 21. juli 2019

21-07-2019 - 23:22

Dear God, I am not happy.. I swear I am trying to be happy, to keep the positive vibe. To be happy for Him, My Dad everything.. 
Everything is so wierd, and I really feel like no one is understanding me  or the vibe I have. Do you know, I hate it most when I feel alone about my feelings.
I hate being alone or feel what I am feeling, all by myself.

I still have kind of contact with him, and I keep it because my soul kind of need it. 

Dear God, I really do not understand your work and plan, but I am trying to keep going and I am putting my brave face up front.

One thing I released today was, I cannot wait to have the kids of my one, girl or a boy, it doesn't matter. I can not wait to show them my love or the life I want them to live. I can not wait to love them. My dear child, I can not wait to se apart of me growing up and become the mini me.

This dream I had it with him, but it is kind of faded away, and I do not know if I am happy about it or not. I can not wait to show them real love, and my kind of love.

Dear God, am I the only one who feel this kind of feeling right now. How come, I lost my Dads interest in me, and I lost the man I though who love me.

Dear Life, Universe, God, Creator - I will wait, and go through whatever you want me to - but promise me I end up happy. Can you promise me at least Mini Me 18 year old and 10 years old mini me, are proud of me in the future? Because right now, I do not feel proud of anything.

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