15-07-2019 19:43

Yesterday where my friends engagement party, and I am so happy for her. I am going home tomorrow, because today is my little baby sisters birthday.

I had a very sleepy day, I think I was laying in my bed all day sleeping. The clock is 21:27, and I am about to finish my daily highlight.

Hmm.. you guys I have a very wierd feeling. I can feel a different type of energy or just feeling. And I am getting my periode. Maybe it can be the reason. But I cannot wait to go home and return back to my real life, about education and building my future.

God why do I feel like it is kind of a duty to like find a partner and get married. Of course, I will one day dream of a family of 6 persons, me my husband and our 5 beautiful children. I really want that, but I really want a healthy and good friendsship kind of type relationsship with my partner too. Where we ride and die together, and we have a very understanding, funny, cozy and respectful and loyal relationsship. I really want that, but I am also scared God and Dear Readers. I am so scared of new things and new experince when it is about giving your heart away or having another person as your habit.

This is like 2 days out of 30/60 days no contact rules. I am about to give these days, the best of me and the best of the world, because I feel my soul deserves it. And Dear God and Readers, do you know when you can feel in your gut and soul, that you are not a complete person, or you have not reach to the point of being you "dreamy" you, and you are like working so heart, to become the best version of myself every day.

I am about to get a job in Pharm. world, I have an job interview 20.Juni - And I am so nervouse. I have to failed exams I should save, and I am so confident about saving them. I have so much "small" unfinished bussines or up coming stuff to start, you know such as a "new" life kind.

My summer has been a big deal this one 2019, and it is still going - I am hoping for better days, and more of blessing and shiny days:

Things that had happen until today:

- Having my life huges fight with my father
- My secound elder sister is moving in with me (She got her Job in my city)
- I had a little connection with him again, and he stopped writing.
- Me and my girls we all saw each other again

Good things that happen -> moving closer to my dream:
- I am about to get a job that is a benefit for me
- I have new energy and I am about to build myself up