13-05-2018

Hey guys..

My feelings are hurt. I feel empyt. I have been in my on space for about 4 hour, it has been very silent and I feel weird. I do not feel good or bad. I am in between those two feelings. You guys sometimes I do not understand, where life want to take me? You know, sometimes I do not understand why love exist? Or is it fiction or something real? If it is real, then why do I have problems handling it? Why am here so lost in my own world, thinking about nothing but thinking?

You know my dear readers, I thought I could change a person to become him better self, by me helping him find himself. But the sad truth is right now, that I got so much caugh up in him and his world, because he was so secretive and so distance I lost myself on the way. I lost myself by learning him how to love, how to be there for others, how to think about other person, how to be nice and thoughtful. And I do not know if he learned something, but all I know right now is that, I am here all alone with myself and by myself searching for where to start over or, just find myself. Because all of this and life doesn't make senses for me. And I am tierd and exhausted about I can not get anything right.

Do you know the feeling, that you do not know what to do, what to feel, where to go, where to be, where to stand, where to start, where to look etc.?

Dear Lord, I have not understand why my life is like this right now. I pray to you, and I trust your plans. I am out of myself right know, and I do not know what to say. I hope for a better day and better life. And My Prayers goes for everyone, my family, my aunty and Him.