13-01-2021 23.56

 Dear readers,

Me and my friend we had bought some tickets to London to visit my friends' sister there and get a little getaway before my next semester. The thing is, 12 hours before our flight we had taken the COVID-19 test, her test came out positive out of the blue. Meaning we had to cancel the trip because it will not justifiable for us to not go through with it. The situation was heartbroken to cancel and just stay home. We had been looking forward to taking our first flight and just flying away and chilling because we needed the time to chill. But God did not want us to take the trip, and it is okay - I know what is meant to be it will be. We and the people around us were in shock about the sudden blockage.. but it is okay. It was truly a hard decision and it was a fight between ego and conscience... It ended with that the conscience was more important - it will be an ego move if we had chosen to go through with it.

But suddenly around 20.00 o'clock one of my hometown girls called me, she told me that my ex went through with his engagement. And it brought more chock to my soul, not because I did not see it come, but because it was a reality check, and I had waited for a long time to get a confirmation about if he got through with it. I am all of sudden numb again and in chok.. it is just our path is really now divided. I am glad for him and I wish and hope the best time and relationship/marriage for him. I cannot wait to see him be more glad than ever, and for me, his wishes and needs must come through. Because at the end of the day, even though we went through a lot of ups and downs, I still got love for him - and I wish him luck upon everyone and everything. 

Now I am on a rollercoaster of emotions a mix of every kind of feeling and memory that has been exciting in my soul... From now on, I just need to take one step at a time and breath, and just begin to live. I do not know... Time will tell, but I need all of your prayers and best wishes for me to fight through this and wish for better days, and to accept the situation as it is... Because God/Universe has a plan and it is in their power when things just change or how it all will happen...

Yeah... Goodnight my beautiful souls. <3