Actually, guys, I forgot to tell you something.
A few days ago, I had a dream..
I dreamed that I went and got married to this guy, that I did like but not like, as I wanted him to be my ideal kind of married man. But I had a baby girl with him. I did go for a walk with my baby girl, and then I saw SJA from a long distance. He looked at me and my baby girl, and every single feeling, love, memory, and dreams I had with him restarted. He looked at me and smiled, but then he saw my face, I could feel that he was all alone and by himself. And suddenly my heart dropped, I got very sad. Because my dream was for him to be the father of my child. I wanted him to be the one for me. I tried to run away from him because I was now married to this guy, and I had a family with another. But my heart deep down wanted him, and I had regret being married to this guy, and having a child with him. Even though I never wanted to give away my baby girl. I remembered in my dream, him kissing my back and holding me near him at night. I remembered him kissing my heart, and my hands and just hold me tight. But I could not ... I woke up, very sad because I do not know, why he is still somehow my dream.
Guys I am messed up, to really feel a connection from the distance towards a guy who has hurt you, time after time after time ...
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