03-11-2020 21:33

 So hi guys,

It has been quite awhile that I have updated you guys about my daily highlights..

So the things that is happening in my life, is basicly work and reading not so much. My dad had birthday yesterday, so right now I am on my way to get to my parents hometown. Its like november, and I am more closer to my exams dates. Not so much is happening, I am at a chill place and at somekind of peace with myself. I suddenly have a lot of me time, which i really like. And sometimes I can get a little confused about this space of me time, because I feel in five year being in a toxic relationsship, I have forgotten myself so much, that this is somekind of getting my new self to known.

Last time me and him contact with each other were 27.september.2020, and it has been like 35 days. I am feeling fine. Sometimes I got flashback memories og though about him, were he did me wrong and I get angry and hate him in that secound, but I think that what you have to pay back for putting yourself and your mind and soul in to psychic torture. But I am fine you guys.

Yesterday or the day before that, I finally pull myself together and gave him to the universe. I could not allow my mouth to say it outloud, because I was afraid. Because I know once I am saying it outloud, it will vibrate back and it will become reality.

Guys, not that I want to get to new relationsship, but I am really afraid on that front. Its like I cannot even think that long. I know I have to calm down and process the traumer and the things I have been through..

And guys, I have a problem. I cannot sleep well in my own bed. I really want to get a new appartment. Just to start fresh, I have requested different places, and I know God knows when I am finished and ready to take another step, He will give me another appartment. Its fine God, I will wait.

Right know my goals for my future is:

- I am going to pass my two exams at January 21. and 26.

- I am going to get 12 in both exams, because I can, I will and I know I have potential.

- I am going to make so much money, that I will pay back my student loan.

- I am going to so happy with myself and life.

- I am going to get healthy and more energetic.

- I am going to reach more goals more that ever!

- I am going to get another job at an industrial pharmaceutical, I know I am going to get it.

- I am going to get a car.

- I am going to start a project or a bussines or a corporation soon about Herbs.

Guys personally it has not been easy for me waking up, everyday just to build. I swear, I have day that I cannot spend it alone with myself, I rather be with people just to not deal with my personal issues. Guys I can not cry, I am so empty of crying about my life, I have never been like this. I am more careless and dont give a fuck kind of person, excuse my french. But I am at a point, I do not give a fuck about most of things. Just that I am finding my self, and finding out what it is that I want to be or reach.

I am still in process ...

I love, Me <'3