Once I was little, in 7th grade. I fell in love ... In love with my second best friend. I gave him my heart, my soul, my trust, a piece of me that I never will give out again. EVER. I fell in love, I thought I will get over him I did, but it took me a long time, I had other good boy best friends, but at the end of the night the one I was thinking of was him ... The time came, a boy in my class I started to hang out with him, shared my secrets, I could be myself in front of him, do everything I want, and he could to. But the summer of ending over 8th grade I realized I was in love again. I was afraid to show him love that he would reject me, so i keep it all inside me. I found out he had a girlfriend, I burned but I stayed quiet for some time, then I got him because my girly friends they were all over me and I couldn't wish for more fun and joy in my life ever. But It came again, at our last school year together 9th grade, he told me at the beginning of summer that he began to like me, and he was afraid to tell me. I reject him, because I didn't fell the same way he did. So after I started the 10th grade, and he started freshman year, His school and my school they played football against each other. I saw him that day, and I was so glad and happy than ever ... There it began again, I fell in love with him so badly that I could not stop thinking, and smiling about him. Days and month came by, I told him that I had grown some feelings for him, but he reject me, because he wasn't ready, because he wants to party hard, get drunk and live teen life like other boys, who do stupid and crazy things. And I had to let go of him, but I couldn't instead I cried the whole night.
Today I realized, that I am afraid to love again ever ... I am afraid to give my heart out and get it back in broken pieces. I am afraid to be loved, and I just do not need no love anymore.
I am still not over him .. And it all began over 1 year ago its close to 2 years ....
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