10-12-2021 17.41

 So hi guys,

A lot of things have happened. I talked with SJA .. he is getting engaged soon haha ... 

I am happy for him and I hope that he will be happy and glad for the rest of his life.

Save the date 22.Dec-2021 or with a week or so.

I saw him today, he is now on his way to Malaga with his cousin and friend.

As I mentioned before a lot of things happened. My little sister did not come home Sunday/Monday morning, there was a search party for her - because she had a fight with my parents, and no one slept that day. I was forced to call my ex, to ask if he could do something - and he went 01.00 at night driving around different places to 04.00 in the morning. Then we talked a little bit more deeply, he had bought his soon-to-be wife an engagement ring - and he cried for the first time a lot on the phone. I was struggling to keep my family calm and try to figure out what had happened with him. I have been in communication ever since and with days where we did not write to each other. But yesterday, he came to my town to help his sister with her apartment, and he wanted to see me because had to - he needed to see and talk to me. And for me it was a huge thing, to see him forever last time and say farewell to him before he came into any relationship. We talked all night about anything and cried - I know it was maybe not nice to meet with him because of his soon-to-be girl, but this felt so right and needed that I would not wish to change it. He told me that he had talked a lot about me to his girl about our past and that I am special to his heart .. but I told him also, it is not fair for her, that her man has still abounded that is not cut over. While I and him talked, I boosted him so much and thanked him for everything/moments/years of everything. It was such a grown respectful conversation we both needed to end it on a healthy term for our both sake. Because we did end dramatically and very dark.

God I will always love him, he will always be in my heart have a special place and spaces - but for this life, he is not mine, has never been - I have 'Dipset' him in another lifetime. God promises me he will be mine .. be could he has to be.

I do not know what the rest of the year has for me - but I hope I will get through this and my family's situation will come on good terms... In God I believe, I trust and I have faith in. Thank you for everything God.