03-05-2021 20.28

 Hey God.

Today I got into a huge fight with my sister, she has cheated in to tested, the school called home that it is her last warning. That if she does this again, she will get kicked out. She came home, and were so disrespectful and careless about what happen, she was insensitive and brutal again my parents, that I got angry. I screamed at that, she fooled me for believing she wants more.

I got afraid for her life, for throwing it away. I got afraid. I swear God. I do not get it, I swear I try to understand her, I understand her situation and life is not easy. But I am trying my best. There is alot of circumstances through life as a child you grow through, and that is why you shape the way you shape. And I know everything is wrong, EVERYTHING is.

God I hope the best for my family, for their health, wealth and education. I want the best for them EVEN if it costs that I am not going to be something, at least they are their own happiness and luck. Yeah, I know life is difficult and it is challengfull, I know life cannot be easy, and it will never be. But damn God, it will knock you the FUCK down if it want you to break. You will break, but for how long God? I want her to make her life of no return at some point. I know and believe there is potenial in every person, and there is a light in everyone and it will shine when it is the right time and if God is judging they are ready. But God she is my little sister, I her life the way you wrote her destiny is to built her stronger. But make her stronger, and make her believe more in herself and come to me. All I want for her is happiness and health, nothing more. 

Life is though, I am so broken and sad that I got into an argument with her, but I did because I do not want her to lose again life, because I know HOW difficult it is, when suddenly things are not as rainbow, and good anymore.

I am so sad, I have never every screamed so loud from aggression, but also from love. I love her, I will always be there for her, she is my little angel. God/Universe I call upon help and guidence from you.