02-09-2020 00:42

 Hi guys,

Yesterday night, I did not pass my first exam. When I Saw my grade, I was crying like a baby. So sad, my eyes hurt - i cried. I screamed. Everything were so unfair, i did not feel well. I felt like a failure. I were so hurt, my heart hurt my body and my soul cried. I talking with one of my angels, BMS. She were with me all in the Telephone, i cried Soo much. One hour, after him saying that I am died to him, I tried to manage my anger and I tried to stay call, when I got me exam result. And thats was the point, that my tears did not stop coming down my cheeks.

All I ever wanted and wishes was to pass the exams, so I could prove something to myself. I talked with alot of people, my best friends from my hometown, my friend from UK. Everyone. They tried to chear me up, and making me stop to believe that I was one Big failure. The day after when I woke up, My mind and soul were so messed up I could not even stand myself. By talking alot to my close friends and everyone, I manage to stay calm.

God I do not know why, you did not make me pass this exam, but it is al right. I still love you, I still cannot wait to see what you have in your hands. But one sure thing I know is, that I for sure now know. That I do not need him in my life. One hour before him blocking me, what is the chances and odds, for me to go through a look a like form of break up, just with my school. Without his help. 

I feel alot better know, I will tomorrow fight another day just to see How my exam/life is going to be if I should start Candidate, but I will not back down.

God I love you, and I know you got me. I will always fight for what I love and believe. And I will do so, till the end of time. I love you, Thanks for everything <3