I mean, this has been difficult for he and me. And somehow, we have grown in each other like, I do not know what to say. It is not that I am missing him, or want him. I am just over so many thing, and I am done wishing him to be "the one" for me, because I know, that I can not force things upon my life. I can only wish, and when ever my wish do come true, I feel like its suffocating me on the other side.
Last time I cried hard, and I had a one O one conversation with God. I begged him, that I do not have any wishes like that, just to be happy.... Like real happines, with or with out people I am suppose to have around me. You know? It is not that I do not love him any more. Of course I do, it has been a roller coster, that I have not every imagine it will happen to me. And some how, at the end of it - I made it. And of course, back then I would wish that it would be with him, but its like whenever I am trying to compensate with him and the situation, I am getting more and more away from him and the thougth. I do not know what Gods plan is, but no more wishing - just mine happines and his happines.
I hope everyone on this earth, can stay happy forever, like do not wish for anything els - just happiness, because everyone deserves that, one way or another.
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