08-05-2020 18:36

Good afternoon guys,

I were like thinking, me having my own thoughts and thinking - while celebrating my sisters 15 year old birthday..

I was having thoughts about me and him, having a family and smiling - being happy.

But it were just thoughts ..

Dear God?

This letter and question is yo you - you know I have been talking to you every night, praying for everyone - and praying for him, because he is the last guy I am thinking off before I go to sleep.

One thing is that I love him, or am I capable of loving someone, or is this even love? Or an addiction, because I can tell I do not know what is up with me, I am going crazy. He is like no, its everything is in my own thoughts .. You know he is a person I still love, and every word that comes out of his mouth is like diamond, if it is good or bad it doesn't even matter - because I love him.

You know what God? It is been a while that I have giving my trust and believe to you, you have not made it clear for me - whats up, because its not that I want him in my life .. It is not like that. I am just thinking more clearly and more rationelt - because, I have involving feelings. People say that I am a very sensitive person, but I feel like I am not. And it got me thinking .. like for real? I am really?

You know, everything is so complicated - and I do not know why I am thinking like this everything, I have more time on my hands .. this is too much.

But yeah, I do not know .. still living, surviving ..