08-05-2020 13:26

Hi babes,

A little update about my daily high lights...

Yesterday 07-05-2020 I meet him and his niece. I had a big bad discussion with him late night, that made me sad - because he was so evil in his words.

At the day of 07-05-2020, i meet him at a place called byggeren, its a childhood place for me where there is a lot of different animals you can look at and at the same time a play-ground.

I wanted to see him, not that I was like in need of it, I was like just chilling - and I wanted to see his baby niece. When I arrived at the place, his friend (my neighbhor) showed up, he was like I have to go from the place. And I was al right, and I was to close to go home - and suddenly I was paronoid, about he does not want to see me with him, and I was like hiding myself like a little child. My gut feeling told me to just go home, and I was like I cannot because I told my father that I will go out for some hours, and then - I was like you know what, I will go around because I want to, but while I was thinking, everything were just wierd - and it was so messy, and were so confused.

It were so messy, everything .. I just could not. I just could not .. it was so wierd. I had to play it cool.. If it were not for that baby angel, I would have to go home.

And then I went home, I was just not feeling it .. I was so messed up in my mind - gut and everything. I wrote him a text that he had to call me up. And when he did, I wanted to talk about how I had it, and he were not paying that kind of attention I wanted him to give me (I do not know, Why I even bother).. But - we talked for awhile.. we talked about his niece, and then he asked me when do you want your babies? I were like, I have to find a man first, and then he asked me but I thought you had? Then I was like yea, me too - but what is it worth when he is not feeling me, understanding me - or is not avaible for me half of the time .. and then we were like talked about "desire" partner, because everyone have some kind of expectation of the other signifikant .. not that you should have MANY, but what you look for in a partner, the man who is going to be your baby daddy ..

Mines is:

- He should give the family 100%, and it should he his first priority what so every!

- His friends will come maybe later in life, but he should never go from home when we are raising kids.

- He should be stable, loyal, and just caring.

- Of course, trust I the most important - If there is no trust, no relationsship.

- He should just be a grown up, and a decisions taker.

- He should be a man!

But yeah, until he of.. got angry, again and were why are you talking to me then? Then I was like its aight, bye.

And later on, I was irritated - it told him, that I will go to sleep, because I were not feeling well. And then he were irritating and asked me about who the persons were I had unfollowed on instagram, so unthougthful.. fuck U.

And fast forward, the clock is know 13:50 - my sister has birthday..

He did not wrote me, and he should stay away. It were totally childish what ever with him. I aint angry, I just need to get me a job or something - because I know, its because I am not busy enough with my life.