22-03-2020 18:16

Hey God ..

We are in corona virus, quorentine .. And for me it was kind of a releafe, because I had pleanty of tm eto do my exams reading. But now I am 1 week in, and I have never been so much all around the places, my mind is some how anywhere and the same time no where.

I am writing right now because I am somehow a little sad.. I facetimed him today, and talked with him. He was himself. We just talked about how it has been going on and all that. And now, after the facetime, I become sad. Because something I think even though I know life is not always fear, but by being the way life is is only good for each individual, because you get to know the other sides of this word and by meating each others opposite personality you get to know where you stand and how high or low your standard will become. But sometimes, you just are stucked on that person for a long time, because you somehow have hard time letting go.. You know?

You know when suddenly everything flashes in front of you eyes, because you still or somehow had a perfect picture of everything .. And while I talked with him, it was just a regular convenersation - with a old flame. And I know I soon or him will like find another, and this will forever be our past. But you know, when things are just done - it just hurt. I hurts on a deeper level, not because I still have strings attached. It is just I am somehow afraid of another new connecetions, because my old one I know everything and they are like apart of me, they had make me who I am today and right now, and when I sometimes think or realize, it is just a memory now - and a person I used to know, but not know because there is no room in my future for that person, I makes me sad. I know I can not take everyone with my trough my life journey ..

I am trying .. you guys. Sometimes I have weak days okay …